Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sea Change; See Change.

I can't sleep. I've been to used to the sleepless nights spent doing papers or studying for Math tests. In fact, I'm craving for a cheese sandwich because the past few weeks, I've been eating my breakfast at around this time. (My nightly schedule during hell week was nap from 8-9, work from 9-3, breakfast at 3, sleep from 3-6, then school! Yay.)

At this rate, I do think I really need a sea change. I'm glad I'll be out of the country for a few days starting Tuesday.In fact, I texted Isaiah's mother today about something. Her reply ran something along the lines of, "Stop worrying. You'll get wrinkles" So yeah. I do think I need to keep my mind off everything school-related right now.   It will just make me question my life choices all the more; and frankly, while I've grown to be a more self-actualized individual this past school year, I think I just need to let loose really. I've been....tense the past few weeks. And, I still don't really feel that feeling of release. Weird, right? (And no, I don't mean this in a suggestive sort of way.)

I can't fully free myself from "school", or at the very least, academic things, though. In my luggage are Terry Eagleton's Literary Theory, a copy of The Book Thief I started way back in high school and in my handbag (Girbaud yay, because I allow myself to be brand conscious sometimes) is An Oresteia.  While my love of books has always been a given, it's a bit different now because I am determined to be "serious" about learning something about Lit at least, especially now that my mother shot down my proposal of shifting to Lit. I'm resigned to the fact it will never be my major, but at least it can be my passion.

I am shifting to Legal Management instead, and minoring in Lit. I don't think I want to spend my next three years in college, worrying about a possible noose at my neck so I'm cutting to the chase and shifting. Besides...I wasn't really happy in a Math heavy course. While I love the subject at a distance and it's actually fun to talk about, doing it is another matter entirely. Besides, I acknowledge I chose it as a means to an end: I really, really am hoping I'm not too burned out to get to law school at the end of these four years.

Que sera, sera.

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On another note, do listen to "The xx." Their entire album. It's haunting. At least, for me.

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